life as it is on 30062008

hey2.. i noe... its been decades since i wrote in... bz n all..... had a new blog bt, nw not planning to use it anymore cus the other one, reminds me so much of the pasts...
wanna update? i'm a sigle biatch nw... yes, i've broken up w him... it was hell at first bt, al hamdulillah i got thru it wif alot of support frm all my frens.. they and me family have been my pillar of support for the 3 mths.. its been 6 mths nw.. altho, i still do tink, the pain is not as deep as before.. i guess i've come to terms with that... initially, i hav no intention on being frens w him... bt, nw we r like close frens.. real close whereby i can tok to him wifout any restrictions... my frens are so against me in contact w him.. including my family too... bt, i dont c y not.. n almost everday, i tink abt weder it is rite for us to b frens.. i feel like i'm sumhw restricting myself frm having anoder boyfren wen he's in my life... to tell u the truth, i feel jealous wen he told me abt the galfrens or abt the gals who wans to get to noe him... bt.. thats his life.. i hav no say, jus an advice if he needs it...
wen we broke up, the guy i was closest wif is Razi... he helped me alot.. told me alot of stuff and make me "recover" faster... he told me hw i should tink abt ALLAH and pray real hard wen i'm feeling bad.. he went for his reservist 2day.. n i noe i'm gonna miss him... i wonder y i do??? do i hav a crush on him?? haha.. amongst my guy frens, he's been the nicest and sweetest... i even rmbrd dat we made a pact that if i cant find any1 by the time i'm 27, he would propose to me... haha.. i don mind, u noe... i noe he's gonna b a gr8 family man... i wished that we met up b4 u went for reservist u noe...
well, on the other hand... i had e weirdest dream 2 nites ago.. i dreamt of this guy; i'm gonna kal him 'M'.. i tink i'm having a crush on M.. hehe.. its weird... i dreamt that we went out and he suddenly held my hand wen we were toking and i blushed, mind you, in my dream!!! haha... but at the end of the dream, i cried because he betrayed me.. i jus rmbr vaguely that he n his frens were laughing at me as tho i'm a fool and stupid... bt, i noe its impossible btwn him n me in real life la.... alot of factors contribute to it and i won't tell u y... haha
i'm a biatch huh??? haha... well... will write in again..